I've been thinking a lot lately about some important dates that have passed this past fall.
- October marked 13 years of being together with my sweet hubs (we celebrated 6 years of marriage in August)
- October 29 was my k-pouches birthday
- November 8 of course was my 32 birthday
- November 20th would have been my parent's 35th wedding anniversary and was also the four year anniversary of my colectomy, the one that started it all so-to-speak
- November 24th was the this little spaces 3rd blogoversary
- And today marks a year since my sister-in-laws accident
As I've said before, the fall is my favorite season, that might seem strange when you look at some of the things on this list. But as hard as these challenges have been, I know that they have all helped continue to mold me to who I am today. Each one has brought significant changes to my world and to that of my family and it would be easy to fall into a pit of despair sometimes. But it's my goal to choose happiness as much as I can and use all these events, happy, hard or sad as a way to see blessings in my life.
Let me be the first to say, that is NOT always easy, nor do I always like to do it or am I good at it, but I know in the long run I can't change what's happened. I can't control what my body will do next or what curve ball might come out of left field, but all I can do is choose how I react and move through this windy path.
The holidays can be a very hard time, when you feel lost or like your prayers aren't being answered. It's something I struggle with every day, especially while waiting another year for our baby and dealing with an extremely naughty body. I let myself be sad, angry and scared for what might be, and I don't know if it's just natural optimistic tendencies or life's resiliency, but I still have hope and believe that although I will probably always struggle, I will have the things that I desperately want and am working for.
Choosing happiness when you wake up each day is not easy, but man does it help when you are in the deepest of places, with what seems like no way out.
To those of you struggling right now with all the things life has to challenge you with, I say hold on tight, find something each day to smile about or share with someone the things that are holding you down. And remember, take each minute as it comes, no more and you might just find that day a little easier to swallow.
A wise friend tells me, "Happiness is not a destination." It's so true, it's more a moving target.
Life's events are rarely ever as we planned, it's all about being able to change course I guess. Maybe that's the only thing we can really plan on.