Wednesday, July 4, 2012


This is a story of a girl who told a lie last week and how it came back to stab her in the leg...

You see this girl was told by her GI last week that the day had come where she would need to inject her poisonous venom once a week rather than every two weeks. The problem was that it may take the evil insurance wardens too long to approve this new dose, and the girl only had one injection in her stock pile.

The GI suggested that the girl call the wardens and tell a small white lie to get one replacement poison while the the paperwork was submitted, which would buy two weeks time. So the girl did, she called and said that she had accidentally misfired one of her pens.

Warden (actually a very nice person): "Well Miss can you explain to us exactly how this happened?"

Me: "Um well you see, I just wasn't paying attention and I was holding the pen with my finger on the plum discharge button and I accidentally hit it before I was ready."

Warden: "Oh I see and did the medicine (poison) just squirt all over."

Me: "Yes, yes it did it all just happened so fast and it was everywhere. I'm so embarrassed."

Warden: "Ok well we'll send you one replacement pen just this once. And now we are going to need to go over the safety procedures again with you over the phone."

Me (sweating from lying): "I understand."

With a sigh of relief, the girl who isn't so good at lying, felt like she had done it. Made up the story with  squirting meds and all. The replacement dose came in time and low and behold so did the approval of the new weekly dosage. There were now six doses in the stock pile and all was right with the world.

Until last night. It was weekly pain infliction time. The numbing, area prep, pain meds process had taken place. The girl took the two caps off and had her finger on the plum button. Her knight in shining armor was there to breath and count with her and somehow, while the pen was pushed into the girl's leg but without being totally ready the girl pushed the button on accident, pulled the needle up and the medicine (poison) started squirting everywhere. Wide eyed, the girl and the knight were in shock. The girl started crying and the knight jumped to the rescue to soothe the frayed nerves of the girl and clean up the poison that was now all over the floor, the outside of the girl's leg and the trash can.

A whole poison pen wasted, another one had to be removed and settled at room temp before usage, an embarrassed girl and a freaked out knight. That my friends is why this girl should not tell a lie, with a made up story and all.

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