I Am Alive

First I have to say, I'm a pretty lucky girl. Why you ask? Well I'll tell you. I've had a number of people today and in the last few days check-in on me to make sure all is ok because I haven't posted here in over 3 weeks. That warms my little heart so much and also reminds me, that just when I think people aren't checking in over here they still are. *Sigh*

I will tell you that I've had a post in the draft section for over two weeks. For some reason I'm having a hard time finishing it, but I really want to. I found the idea on another blog, it's 30 Things You May Not Know About My Invisble Illness. I think it's an important one, but some of the questions are hard for me to answer, emotionally that is. But I promise I will soon.

On the health front here are a few things I know you don't know, but as a good blogger I should have been posting about:)

• I had a Hydrogen Breath Test the last weekend in Septmber, you may remember a post back in April 2009 when I did this test the first time (I would link to it but blogger sucks right now and won't let me, sorry.) Funny thing is the hubs had to remind me that I had done it before, I totally forgot, or blocked it from memory whatever. Anyway, it was to look for an over growth of bacteria in my gut and wouldn't you know I have one. I'm on another course of antibiotics, one that is supposed to only be released in the gut. Hopefully it will help the large amounts of gas and bloating that have been building up again. I'm having a hard time with food again and I really am nervous that a repeat of March-May of this year is in effect. I'm working on it.
• I went back to the rheumy last week. My hip MRI came back fine, good news is no avascular necrosis, bad news is he just can't figure out what is going on. He believes it's IBD arthritis and fibromyalgia still, which I agree with. I'm going to try a new Fibro med, Lyrica, and see if that gives me any relief. Also, my elbow problems seem to be golfer's elbow -- you know from all that golf I play, I have a killer swing didn't you know?! Basically my loose-jointedness and arthritis tendancies are at work together on my inner elbow, so fun. And to top it off, it appears I do have Sjogren's Syndrome (google for more info) Basically it's another autoimmune that couples on when you have another, and really the symptoms are more annoying than anything -- dry eyes and mouth -- and I'm going to manage with over the counter artifical tears and biotene products. Just add it to the list of ailments in this little autoimmuney.
• Last Thursday I was due for my monthly B12 shot. After last month's incident I was hesitant and kept putting it off. I finally did it, at the hubs gentle urging, on Sunday and I'm pleased to report all went well! No bruise, got it in the right spot. The hubs was a great coach and even offered to do it for me when my hand was shaking so bad, but honestly that would be worse. So I put on my big girl undies and took the plunge. I'm happy to report my confidence grew back just a little bit. We'll see what next month brings...

In other news, the reason I haven't been posting here is because we've been working on a pre-placement homestudy for the adoption process. We don't have a particular birth mother match now, but we have been connected with a great organization that requires a pre-assessment if we are matched with a birth mother through them. It's a lot of paperwork, interviews and organizing and a lot of emotional ups and downs, so I've been focused on that. Exciting to feel like we are doing something, so hopefully very soon the right match will come along. I tell you thoughl, as with auto immune diseases, the adoption process is very up and down and not for the weak of heart. I know it will happen, but it's so darn hard sometimes to keep on trucking. But for now we are back to being more hopeful, when just weeks ago our spirits were pretty broken. I guess that's the power of just a tiny bit of faith an optomism:)

That's the brief or not so brief catch up to this point. Thank you again to all of you who really do continue to support me, check-in and me and pray/send good thoughts out for me. Just to know you are out there helps to get through some of the hardest points.