The rage and frustration of yesterday brought on a very intense and stubborn migraine. It's a doozy, sleep was fleeting and the pain SO bad. I haven't had one this bad in ages and it seems to be hanging around for a while, although not as throbbing as during the night. (Yes I know sitting on the computer probably isn't the best thing, but of course now I can't fall asleep again. So here I am, in the dark and quiet with just the glow of the screen.)
I've had this post swimming in my head for a week now, and the perfect title came to me yesterday. Funny how that happens. And although I'm having a rough time on a couple of fronts and still frustrated, it's not as bad as yesterday, the acceptance is moving in, begrudgingly.
I did want to share the things that have made me smile lately, even when I've felt oh so lonely and mad and scared. My sunshine through the rain:
- Skyping with my bro, sis-in-law and Super G last night. I got to see our sweet niece walking all over their house at just 10.5 months old! She also blew kisses and waved to me through the computer. It was awesome. She is seriously so darn cute. I can't believe she'll be one in 5 weeks.
- My sweet hubby getting me a cool wash cloth for my head and then holding my head because the pressure helps at 5 a.m.
- My little buddy J telling his daddy out of the blue, after I left his house one day that, "Al is my best bud!"
- Reusable grocery bags. I have the cutest bags thanks to a lovely friend. Plus they hold a lot of stuff and make it so much easier for me to get the groceries in the house by myself.
- Our Cutie K running up to the hubs the other day and saying, "Appy Birday Uck!" and giving him a big fat hug. Plus watching her gently hold baby M's hand and kissing it softly made me tear up. She's a doll!
- Getting a pedicure. I know it's a luxury and not a need-to-have, but I love it and it's so relaxing, plus rejuvinating.
- Having A ask her mommy if, "Aunt Al can maybe come spend the night for her birthday."
- Knowing my mom is always there to listen when I'm down and that I'm there for her to do the same.
- Watching little Miss V, who turned one last week, bounce around on her knees when she's SO excited. It's the cutest/funniest thing.
- Charlie girl stepping on the stool next to my bedside and putting her head down and looking at me with her sweet face until I pet her.
- Having my sweet friend check on me yesterday after reading my blog and being just as mad as I am about it all.
- Cuddling with J's little sister M.
- Ice cream sundaes!
Things like this really do help me through and I'm thankful that I can still see them.
"Say my name, sun shines through the rain
My whole life, so lonely
Then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling..."
-- Eternal Flame by Human Nature
(yes I love cheesy '80s music)