Dear Gas that Likes to Torture Me,
Why do you continue to fill my days with discomfort and trouble? Why, as I sit here and type this pleading letter to you, are you making noises from the depth of my body that sound like ominous rolling thunder?
I'm trying very hard to be patient with you. Letting you out off schedule so I'm not writhing around in pain. Trying to figure out what you like to eat and what you don't? Deperately working on my patience, remembering that it may take many more months for you to figure out how to work in harmony with my new plumbing.
But I have to tell you, it's getting old and QUICK. You don't necessarily seem to be affected by what goes in my system, but by the fact that something is going in at all. You don't disciminate, you'll pummel plain toast just as viciously as a taquito. Or say when I don't eat anything at all, you beat my empty stomach to a pulp.
What do you want from me dear gas? Really I'll do anything, but you are making it very hard to keep trucking forward as my new "normal," hindering my ability to really get back out in the world. The sounds you make are NOT at all lady like and they are VERY uncomfortable.
You scoff at GasX and Beano and roll your eyes when I try to walk around to get "things" moving. To tell you the truth, you make it very hard to like you at all.
I'll keep doing my part in dealing with you, I mean what choice do I really have, but please give an inch and help a sista out! I have enough hot air without dealing with you dear gas.
Not so Fondly,
Al and KP
** side note, I saw Super Surgeon Dude last week. He wanted me to continue to just let little abscess drain on it's own, I took his words and went home and decided that wasn't going to work for me. Because I had a week's worth of Cipro left I started taking that, puss seems better pain is still there. So we'll see what happens next. Have a regular appt with my PCP on the 25th and I'll be talking to him about this and seeing if there is any precription gas relief meds.**