Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Weird Encounters of the Rude Kind

(This picture has nothing to do with this post. It's stinkin hot down here, but that means that HeRo got to wear his World Champion, SF Giants gear today that his uncle J sent him! SoCal boy or not, he'll know which team he must root for in this family.)

Anywho, to the point of this post. I have had a lot of people, mostly just in innocent curiosity, look at me and then look at HeRo and then sometimes ask how old he is and then comment on how great I look. Obviously they are confused about how I can be so thin with such a newborn in tow. For the most part I understand these people are just being curious and they have all been kind about it and I either smile and nod and say thank you or politely explain that he is ours but we adopted him, until today. 

HeRo and I went to the polling place (whichever way you are voting and for whomever, I hope you went out and voted) and encountered a very shocking conversation. 

Polling Place Lady: "That is NOT your baby!"
Me: "Well yes he is."
PP Lady: "NO you are WAY too skinny to have that baby."
Me (shocked and caught off guard: "Oh thanks, he's adopted."
PP Lady: "Oh so you cheated."
Me: "Yes that's exactly what I did. Um can I have my ballot please."

There was no hello from this woman and I didn't even know she could see HeRo, he was in his car seat that I set on the floor and she was behind the table. Also, let me just state the tone of this was just brazen and rude, not shock and awe like "oh dang girl you look good no way you can have a baby that small, you go."

Honestly I'm just so shocked, not hurt or did I even take it personally. I do wish I hadn't felt the need to explain that he was adopted, it was none of her business and clearly she's also misguided on the adoption process if she finds it to be cheating. I should have said, "Oh shoot you are right I don't have a baby, picked this one up outside."

I get that people have no filter, that they can be naive and down right stupid. And I also know this woman probably wasn't intending to be as rude as she was, she just doesn't get it and that's ok. But this is just another reminder to me that you should not judge a book by it's cover. You don't know what people have gone through and just because they look good to you on the outside doesn't mean they've had it easy. And to assume that adoption is the easy way out of not having to get "fat" being pregnant is laughable. 

Just another day in the life over here. I know we'll encounter comments from ignorant people forever and I also know we won't have to hear it near as much as interracial families or white families who adopt children of other races or vice versa. 

But come on people, it's all about how you phrase things. If you have a question that's fine, but think before you speak or if you just don't have anything nice to say, remember what Thumper's mommy taught him in Bambi, "don't say anything at all!"

Happy Voting Day!


Rocio said...

Speechless! Absolutely unbelievable the ignorance and rudeness of people in this world. And I'm glad she didn't have the pleasure of seeing cute little HeRo in his car seat ;-)

todd & natalie said...

Wow! I can't believe it. That was pretty bold.

Giggi said...

Just found your blog. I am so blessed to read it! It's a long story, but just know I'm so encouraged. Thanks for your honesty and your sharing. You have a beautiful family! Congratulations!