A Letter: Four Years

Dear Dad,

How can it be that four long years have passed in the blink of an eye since we last saw you? I know I've said it before, but time really does play tricks on a person, especially one missing someone so very much.

People keep asking if it's getting "easier" to deal with this day and you not being here. I find that a very interesting and hard question to answer. Because no it's not easier at all, in fact sometimes it's harder. Yes it's not as raw and open a wound as it was in those first days and that first year. I mean I know you aren't here and yes I've had to adjust as best as possible to not being able to call you everyday. But now it's the fact that four years have gone by and that's so few years in the grand scheme of how long I'll have to wait to see you again. There's that time thing again, right?!

But I know you fought as long as possible in your body, who fought you at every turn. I know it was time for you to let go as much as you wanted to stay with us. And I understand that feeling more and more these days. And in that you continue to teach me lessons every day, and I find that absolutely amazing.

Although we've missed you physically here, being a part of all of life's adventures -- good and bad and indifferent -- I still fully believe you've never stopped watching over us from your vantage point.

I still see signs from you, especially when I'm most down and I'm thankful for that belief in faith.

I love you, I miss you. Here's to us down here making it through as many years as we can until we meet again.

Love,

Al

If you'd like to read my posts from this day in the last few years go here and here.