H is For...

I'm here at the infusion center (got to take a couple month break from visiting this place) and so here I am back in blog land. 

As it does for most, the fall flew by and it's hard to believe that It's Christmas Eve Eve. 

We've had a great holiday season full of Santa visits, gingerbread house decorating, a trip to the snow and time with our friends. We are blessed as always with a beautiful life. 

But we have also been dealing with some pressing health issues for me. Let's face it, my body does not want to be ignored. 

The best thing that H is for is our HeRo, and boy does he love that letter too. Always asking us to write it for him. 

But H has also meant a hernia and hysterectomy for me. The joy. I had the hernia fixed in an outpatient surgery the week of Thanksgiving and all went well. 

I will be having a hysterectomy on January 5, after months (years really) of dealing with fibroids that are growing at an alarming rate and not responding to

Other treatment. 

I'm nervous to be heading into major surgery again as this will not be a routine hysterectomy. It will be full open. With lots of delicate work to detach my prolapsed uterus from my sacrum all while protecting my Koch pouch. 

I am confident in the surgeons abilities and my awesome colo-rectal surgeon will be assisting. But my past history has proven to be a little wild when it comes to post surgical weirdness so I'm trying to prepare myself for this roller coaster again.  Hopefully it will be a smooth and boring ride;)

Adding to my feelings is the fact that this is my first major surgery since HeRo was born. I know he's only 2 and he will be fine and in the best hands, but the thought of being away from him for 4-7 days and not being able to lift/carry him for 6-8 weeks makes me terribly sad. I love that boy more than I can eve express and he's my best little buddy. And of course my sweet hubs will be pulled in multiple directions. We spend so much time together and I know this will be hard on all of us. 

Im so thankful that my mama will be here for two weeks and for our amazing nanny who is really like family now. Those two are going to make it all so much more bearable. 

I'm looking forward to March when it's all over and behind us. I'll be feeling better and down another useless organ and moving forward. 

It's never a full moment and all of this is just another reminder that chronic illness is forever in all it's ebbs and flows. 

For now I'm going to focus on spending the holidays with my boys and enjoying the magic a toddler brings to it all. 

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and happy and healthy 2015.