How Am I Doing...Really?

I realize my lack of consistent posting may have lost some of the readers who came here regularly for IBD support or information. I'm ok with that as I know I just haven't been able to provide that lately and people move on.

So I'll keep writing what I can, when I can and if people still read great, if not it's at least a journal of these times in our life.

So with that, what's going on with me, health wise? How's my body holding up with the BIG changes around here?

Two weeks after HeRo was born, I had my regular GI appt. I knew this would be the appt where we added methotrexate as I could tell that I was still not having a full response to Humira, even with once a week injections. So I was prepared and willing, especially with increased motivation to feel as well as possible. She agreed that at 6 months in and only a partial response, we needed to add in the the next step. I was hoping it would be a pill, but because of my lack of full intestines and absorption issues, I have to do injections.

Six weeks ago I started the meth and let me tell you, that injection is so easy. It's the smallest needle ever and I can't even feel it going in. It's a walk in the park compared to Humira. Doing the injections is supposed to help reduce side effects and I think it has. I just have the typical post injection headache, but it seems to last. The GI said it could be 2-3 months to see results and that the combo would potentially first and foremost help my arthritis.

Speaking of arthritis, it's my hip that has taken the biggest beating with the addition of HeRo in our lives. It hurts, I'm not even going to sugar coat it and now I just take a pain pill each morning to help cut the edge off and that helps. My Crohn's seems to be manageable but in the very wee early mornings, same time HeRo's gas is really bothering him, my intestines are also going cray. Don't know if it's the lack of extended stretches of sleep (although I will say we are so lucky, HeRo does wake every 2-3.5 hours at night, but he eats, gets a diaper change and is back sleeping in 25 minutes so we aren't up long.) And my hubby man does the 5/6a.m. feeding so I can keep on sleeping in the am.

So we shall see, my body is my body. It's holding on, but it's frustrating and hard to accept. Again I know all new moms suffer from extreme exhaustion, mental fatigue, etc add to that a body that simply does not recover well or have the stamina built up, so it can be a double whammy.

I am so happy and really everything about motherhood and my body is exactly what I was prepared for, which I know helps tremendously. And this may be cheesy, but I'm SO serious, looking at that sweet boy's face really makes it all worth it and I mean ALL of it -- the years of waiting, sadness, pain, etc. He is meant for us and we for him and so I will power on. My vow is to take good care of myself, so I can take the best care of him. We will be getting some help a few days a week so I can rest and I'm ok with that, because I know it's what will help make me the most available mother I can be.

Being well has always been a priority for me, whatever that means for me personally. And now it's taken a whole new meaning.