2

(Come on we'd be fun parents, right?)

As of last week, we have officially been waiting to adopt our forever baby for two years. And it's been 14 months since I wrote this post (all the feelings are still true). Kind of jinxed us with that last line didn't I? I know, I know you can't believe it, us either.

I haven't really said much on here about all of this, because really I don't know what to say. We really have done everything in our power to make this happen. We spent last summer building our own adoption website. In early fall we sent an email to everyone we knew with the link and a PDF of our letter with a revised picture asking them to spread the word if they found the opportunity. We put it on Facebook, we included little business cards in our holiday cards with the link as well and we've continued to talk to everyone about our journey. And in January we signed up with a full service adoption agency in addition to keeping our lawyer.

Our friends and family have also championed for us and we have made some connections and met people we might never have without our "networking."

Also our agency requires all adoptive parents to take a series of four classes. We will be going to our third this coming Monday.

Each time we talk to our lawyer or our agency or anyone really, they all say the same thing. "You are such a great couple, we can't explain why it just hasn't happened yet." That's both comforting and maddening. But it also goes to show that nobody is entitled to anything. Just because we are good people, who continue to face adversity that most people can't fathom, doesn't mean that other things have to work out perfectly. Nobody ever guaranteed that life would be fair, but we accept that.

And as we have time and time again, in just about every situation, we are bending and curving with the path that we thought for certain would be another way.

We still find hope when:

• We hear our adoption anthem and we see it as a sign and not a slap in the face
• We randomly talk about names or when our baby is here this and that
• We wake up each day and think, "Today could be the day!"
• We thoughtfully enjoy the time we have just the two of us, because we know it won't be like this forever
• It seems like all should be lost and the towel thrown in, we are still convinced this will happen

So as we have been over the past two years (well really five, but who's counting that other stuff), we continue to patiently -- sometimes not so -- wait for our right situation, our right birth family and our perfect child.

And we continue to be reminded that as much as we want to control or wish there was something more we could do to make our dreams come true, for us that's just not the way it's going to be.

But as I've always said, we still know this is the way to build our family. We know that our child will find us and it will be beyond worth the wait. Along the way, we have learned so much about adoption, it's heartbreak and it's true happiness. We feel blessed and know the longer we wait the more full our hearts get with love for a child and his/her birth parents that don't even know we exist. And our love for each other, our respect and our true vision for what is most important to us has strengthened, and that I'm so thankful for.

Life is hard, but that's life. So we press on and continue to dream...